Met with my psychiatrist first thing in the morning. She asked me about my suicidal ideation, and told me to consider adding the drug lithium to my treatment. It’s most often used to treat bipolar disorder, but has shown decreases in suicidal thoughts as well. It’s a pretty extreme drug, in my opinion, and I’m not a huge fan. But we’ll see.

More concerning part of today: She was unsure that I would be stable enough to not hurt myself this weekend. She said that, depending on my meeting with my therapist, I may go to a “higher level of care”, aka the hospital, aka the psych ward, “until I’m ready to return”.

Absolutely not.

Meeting with my therapist went amazingly well, so I’m staying this weekend. She isn’t worried about me, but she’d like me to have less suicidal thoughts. So I’m working on being positive. Also, my nutritionist (who I hate with a burning passion; long story) ambushed me and pulled me into a room to confront me about my dislike of her. My therapist saved me and mediated, which was probably the only thing that stopped me from murdering her.

Family visits and passes this weekend. Looking forward to it.